its been over a month

wow how does that happen? i get in a groove and forget to write on here. things are going well around here. awaiting mom coming out here which always spices things up! :) mares and I are constantly getting used to being roommates and sisters. it works out extremely well because I never have to worry about not being friends after a fight!!! our house seems to finally be settling down and getting used to each other. we are all very busy with different things. but it somehow all has a rythmn to it. this time in my life has been a paradox to me. it is restful but full of a lot of unrest? can that be? i feel as though i need this break to be a waitress and live in a non structured environment for awhile where there is not a lot of pressure, but that is not what God has planned for me and I know it. Its hard to know that I am where I am at for now for a reason, but also realizing i have these gifts that are not being utilized to there full capacity in my current employment. BUT i am absolutely loving my work with the youth. honestly i just find them a breath of fresh air in my week. God has calmed my worries about "not being able to be a good leader" blah blah blah. its funny how i have begun to step out on obedience and doors have opened and i have found a strong fit for how I am wired to serve. I actually never thought about any of that before I sat down to write tonight. I keep missing all of these "whispers" God has put in my life. ugh. so right now I am struggling with whether or not to go to personal training school or online. I honestly feel as though it is the school or nothing because I know I cannot learn effectively online. I could barely and I mean barely handle lecture. I am a hands on learner. i think we all know that about me. I like to see and do. learn and then practice. have constructive criticism and do it again. But financially I am frustrated because I want to make the right choice on all accounts. I feel at a loss for what direction i want to go in. But when i sit there and think i get excited about helping and encouraging and maybe helping with a sports team. I don;t know. but I really need prayer with that. it sounds dumb but it has always been a passion of mine and I think it would utilize a lot of my strengths but also effectively build up some of my weaknesses. work is well...work. it has its ups and downs. and it is not what i want to do for the rest of my life. but I have made good friends and have been working my way up in the trust of my managers. :) so that makes me happy. I notice when I dont write for awhile it is always the heavy stuff. but I will tell some funny stories on here too!!! love you all and thanks for making my life so wonderful.
B