Gracious Uncertainty

I seriously have not written on this blog in forever! But here I am again. Maybe it is because I do not know what to write because everything seems to be up in the air and i think the hardest part about all the change is that i realize it will never stop to a certain extent. My life will never look the same as in my years up to college and in college. there is a security there that is gone. and it is the oddest yet most freeing thing I have ever experienced. I have to avoid feeling like I am doing nothing at the moment. I just do not know where i should even be looking for a job and honestly it is hard to give myself slack because I feel like I should have more figured out then i do. I don't want to be married or anything of that nature but i have this adventure spark in me but I don't know where to place it in the scheme of things.... does it mean I need to move somewhere new or move to bozeman in a year etc etc.
my goodness sorry about that babble it just kind of came out and I am sure you will get to read more of it. But God is faithful and as so many church services ironically seem to be telling me....its small things. I keep feeling useless. But I know that is not a good attitude to have. But work is going well. It is so hard to start a new job, but I am somehow finding myself a month or more into the job and making money to live on and save. I am learning a lot about how much things cost, how many times I have to grocery shop and how much I like to get things on sale. Try saving 43% at safeway.....it is a real day booster. I am my mothers child after all! :) kales just got back from 6 weeks of adventures and is now working at tilikum with mares and her boyfriend chris. alexis is up in seattle getting her new car which needed some extra work done so she won't be back for a few more days. We all three have not all been here at the same time yet this summer! so that should be fun. pray that alexis can find a job here soon!!! she has not been able to find one. Also pray that we can find another roommate for the fall! It has been hard because about 3 or 4 women have dropped out on us! Anyways I that is some of the background from the summer thus far so that I can start writing on here more regularly! :) then everyone can know what is happening in the berg. mares is doing well too. tillikum is a lot of work, but she is learning a lot about being obedient to where God asks you to be and how that may not always look like how we initially expected. BUT we are both learning how to remember God's little blessings along the way because they can be so easily forgotten.
I love you all and I promise some stories about crazy happenings
peace
B

Summer '10

Well here it is. Summer. It has been too cold to even think it is summer here in Newberg though! It has been raining and really cloudy. This month so far has been FULL of adjustments. From moving in with 3 girls I hardly know... to starting to work with little kids everyday. It has been rough to say the least. I have been really struggling with balancing out my time between Tilikum people and Ryan and Bethany. It has been really hard on me. Tonight I am alone. Which is kind of nice. My roommates and I are doing well together. It is hard to just jump into people's lives and be forced to bond. Mainly because I have issues with opening up to people right away. Not my cup of tea. I really hope that my apartment gets close and that all of us enjoy living with each other. My roommate and I have not really clicked yet and that is rough on me. I feel like she will share her life with my other roommates but not me. I don't understand her and it frustrates me. Today was the first day of kids. It was pretty good so far! I have a group of 9 4th graders! They are so much fun! Abbie I share your love for the 4th grade! They are pretty dang cute! I went to the beach on a surprise date with Ryan this last weekend! We went to seaside! It was a lot of fun and I even got some sun! At the Oregon Coast!!! That is truly amazing! I am really exhausted tonight. I think that being around people non-stop can be draining... I miss home a lot. I miss family. I did not realize how much work it is to live on your own!!! Especially grocery shopping.... props to you mom. I love grocery shopping though! It is relaxing! Well it is until I see my bill at the end! Which people reassure me it is really not that much money... but I don't like to spend. But my little cupboard space is full of soup and cereal and bread and PB! It will last me :) I hope life is good for everyone. I miss you dearly. Please write me! Or e-mail me! Or text me! I don't have much time or spaces to talk on the phone. But I still want to hear from you!