I need to change things up a bit

SO in an effort to begin all of this blogging again i am going to switch up my layout and make it more exciting again. I don't know what happened....well yes I do. Every time I get on here i just want to look at other peoples blogs and I forget that although my reader base is relatively small...i still do indeed have a reader base AND i need to continue writing about life happenings. because lets be honest I have a lot of changes going on and I am terrible about stating them when people ask how work is or how it is being out of college. I do not really like just listing off things and talking about myself. so this is a way of kind of talking about myself but in a more comfortable way for me. journaling to a live audience. oh my i was just thinking how much I missed this form of communicating. I am listening to the c.d. I got from haley(jake johnsons girlfriend) who was at the reunion and is a super good musical artist. I really like the c.d. and I am trying to see the metior shower but I can't tell if I am seeing the shower or I am telling myself I am seeing things fall. that is why i should watch those types of things with another person because then it is an experience shared together and I know for sure if I saw them fall. but it is a gorgeous night out. but I feel much better coming back from the reunion than I did when i came back from montana. but I still feel odd because i looked so forward to these 2 trips for so long that it is almost like I finally have to buckle down and realize that I am not going back to college and that one of my best friends is married and I am getting 2 new roommates and a list of other things too. but on our way home today grandma gloria and grandpa and I were talking about change and how no one is immune to it. and for some reason those kind of convos always help me take a step back and know that i will never arrive. its a journey and if I never learn to enjoy it then i will always live without really jumping in. and i feel tentative right now...like the grass is greener over there or over there. when my grass is perfectly green right here and I can't know what will happen but I can know lord willing I will be here for a year. and for now that is all I can seemingly know. but being with family this weekend was such a blessing because I just had a chance to play and be active and just be. I don't know but I came home physically tired but spiritually and emotionally so refreshed. what a great recharger and memories that will last a lifetime. games, canoeing, bananagrams, blongo, wiffleball, hiking, walking, hyme singing, no screen in our room, crazy loud, crazy fun, bochie ball, baseball card game.....I could go on for forever. I am so blessed.